Hello Lovelies! I have come across a lot of friends in my life. Some are still there and some have drifted away. I have no qualms about the ones who have left. Really I don’t. Because of them I have been able to understand a lot about life and relationships. I have been able to decipher the differences between the short lived and the potentially long term friendships from all the experiences I have endured.
Don’t get me wrong, in no way am I implying that I’m an expert at analysing someone’s persona and intentions but I have seen tell tale patterns in people who are there just for the long and the short haul. Some of the common signs you’ll see in genuine and fake friendships is as below;
1) Will only get in touch when they need something or being in contact with you will benefit them somehow.
2) They will compliment you to boost your ego even if they know you look like crap.
3) They will contact you and plan to meet when it suits their schedule.
4) They will randomly call you to find out if you want to ‘hang’.
5) They will get irritated or annoyed with you if you don’t side with their opinion.
6) They are all about networking and creating contacts who will somehow prove beneficial at some point in their life. So if you’re out with them they are most likely socialising with new people leaving you to wonder why you came out with them in the first place.
7) You see a different side of them appear at different times in different scenarios which is rather confusing.
8) They will hardly, if ever offer to buy you a drink, lunch or dinner. They usually go dutch or go home.
9) They always somehow have ‘other’ plans they cannot miss when you suggest catching up.
10) They say they’ll call you back in some time but you inevitably end up being the one calling them days later.
11) They will never call to find out how you’re doing unless they’re worried they’ll lose you as a useful confidante.
12) They will briefly ask about your life but end up talking about themselves because that is more important.
13) They will never message or call to find out if you’ve reached home safe.
14) You never really know their schedule or where they are.
15) They don’t like or comment on your photos or updates on social media unless they’re a part of it.
16) You won’t really be aware nor be a part of their personal life.
17) They won’t offer to help out in situations involving your family or other friends.
18) They will behave as if they owe you no apology or explanation if you’re hurt by their actions.
19) They won’t make the effort to get in touch or mend the friendship if you have drifted apart for whatever reasons.
1) Will be in touch despite differences and even when they don’t need something from you.
2)They will not shy away from telling you how you look if you’re about to step out looking less than your best.
3)They will adjust their schedule to meet you even if it’s for a short time.
4)They will plan to hang out with you and spend quality time.
5) They won’t overly get irritated if you disagree with them and their ways. True friends agree to disagree.
6) No matter where you go, they will stick around and socialise with you. You came out together, you leave together.
7) You know most of their personas and how they’d react in a given situation.
8) They will never let you buy drinks or food on a special occasion or if they’ve specially invited you.
9) They swap their plans if they can to have that long awaited catch up with you.
10) They will always call you back or acknowledge if they can’t.
11) They will regularly check up on you if they know you haven’t been yourself.
12) They will always want to hear about your problems first if they know you need to talk.
13) They will expect a text or will call you to find out if you’ve reached home safely.
14) You know their schedule and routine well enough.
15) They will always like and comment on photos that mean a lot to you.
16) You know quite a bit about their personal life.
17) They will always be willing to help in situations involving your family and other friends.
18) They will apologise & explain if you’re hurt even if they owe you neither.
19) They will make the effort to get in touch and bridge the gap if you have drifted apart.
So these are some of the subtle or major differences I’ve noticed in friendships over the years. Of course every friendship is unique and every situation is different. To each their own, if having a friendship that offers you less than what’s mentioned here makes you feel happy then please disregard this post. It is not meant to throw any shade at a friend who doesn’t practice all of the above.
This is purely my observation and take on what I consider as real and fake friends. Please do let me know what you make of this observation. Do you agree with it? What are your thoughts?
One thing I’d like to add though. Do not let any ‘friends’ make you feel like crap. Real friends should empower, support and stand up for each other. If you feel you’re not part of such friendships than don’t be afraid to let go and detach from them. There are lots of people out there who are ready to give you the respect, attention and fairness you deserve. That’s what #squadgoals are made of! 😉
Image courtesy: Project Inspired