Your worth is defined by no one except you!

Hello my lovelies! Happy Sunday! Sundays are fun days but also days of reflection. There will be a lot of people who will come into your life & make you feel things that you don’t really want to feel; especially those sad, ugly, lurky feelings. And I’m sure every single person has experienced hurt or pain due to someone or something. Although at the time the pain will feel excruciatingly real, remember that just because someone doesn’t reciprocate your feelings it does not mean that you are unlovable!

You are everything & more. One persons disapproval or lack of attention does not define your self worth. If someone fails to see the greatness in you it means they are projecting their own flaws or just don’t love themselves enough to see the love in anyone or anything else.

Always put yourself first & discard those silly self depreciating thoughts that come your way. At the end of the day ‘one man’s loss is another man’s gain’..quite literally! 😁

 

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My much needed ‘ME’ time…

Hello lovelies! 😃 Hope everyone is well. I went to into hibernation mode to reevaluate, recuperate & really just to reflect on this journey called life. (Which was much needed if I may add). Often these phases come when you encounter transitional periods.

This picture is so powerful. To me it implies that you cannot catch nor hold on to something that is meant to go. Even if deep in your heart you felt life was meant to remain the same, you’ve got to let that mindset go & set it free.

Often the most precious and beautiful things in life are not meant to be chained. You can truly feel the beauty of this co existence when you let life take its own course at its own pace. This applies to most things in life; love, friendships, views, perspectives..everything! 😊

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When you are no longer ‘allured’….

Hello lovelies! Happy Saturday!! 😃 This message is pretty self explanatory. We are often bogged down by feelings of guilt & shame for feeling things that we shouldn’t be or aren’t meant to because we fear it is against our morals or what is known as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

How can you no longer want to pursue something that you’ve worked so hard towards?..How can you not feel something towards what you spent so much time with/on? Again we are not meant to be feeling a particular way towards anything to begin with..And if we do there’s no guarantee we’ll feel the same ALL the time.

Like everything in life, feelings & dreams are transient too. What is not is our determination to keep working on something when that drive fades! Should you find yourself in that dilemma where you no longer feel that determination, it’s time to give yourself that reality check & accept the art of letting go. You are no longer feeling the same way because what you were pursuing is simply no longer serving you.

You may have a sudden breakthrough or a change of heart because you either don’t feel that connectedness or the ‘allure’ you once felt. In these moments accepting that it’s OKAY to let go is the best thing one can do! Because believe it or not, something better is in store for you waiting to catch your attention 😊 Just have faith in the divine & believe everything is happening as it should for your own betterment!

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Embrace the beauty that you are!

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Hello lovelies!

Happy Wednesday! 😃 Hope everyone’s having a good week so far! We often compare our appearances to everyone else’s around us, especially those who are visually beautiful… But come to think of it, who decides what is beauty? Nobody. You decide your own definition. Don’t let anyone’s perception of beauty define yours. What is beautiful to you IS beautiful. It does not matter what other people think. You don’t have to be of a certain colour, size or shape to be considered beautiful.

We as women put a lot of pressure on ourselves to look & behave a certain way because that’s what we think is approved. All those unrealistic standards we follow are set by the fashion runways, magazines and celebrities we see on television, but they do not & cannot speak for the masses of people around the world who don’t belong to the glamour industry. We just allow them to influence us because we feel insecure in ourselves.

The real world is very different. Real women are very different. In the midst of all the media bombardment we are fed everyday, we forget who we are and that nobody can make us feel valued other than ourselves. Real beauty lies in owning your imperfections & flaunting them with pride..that sort of beauty oozes courage, confidence and a conviction that only comes from accepting who you really are. That confidence is not only super attractive but also so influential that it can give any celebrity a run for their money! <3

 

 

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How to spot REAL and FAUX friends!

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Hello Lovelies! I have come across a lot of friends in my life. Some are still there and some have drifted away. I have no qualms about the ones who have left. Really I don’t. Because of them I have been able to understand a lot about life and relationships. I have been able to decipher the differences between the short lived and the potentially long term friendships from all the experiences I have endured.

Don’t get me wrong, in no way am I implying that I’m an expert at analysing someone’s persona and intentions but I have seen tell tale patterns in people who are there just for the long and the short haul. Some of the common signs you’ll see in genuine and fake friendships is as below;

FAKE FRIENDS

1) Will only get in touch when they need something or being in contact with you will benefit them somehow.
2) They will compliment you to boost your ego even if they know you look like crap.
3) They will contact you and plan to meet when it suits their schedule.
4) They will randomly call you to find out if you want to ‘hang’.
5) They will get irritated or annoyed with you if you don’t side with their opinion.
6) They are all about networking and creating contacts who will somehow prove beneficial at some point in their life. So if you’re out with them they are most likely socialising with new people leaving you to wonder why you came out with them in the first place.
7) You see a different side of them appear at different times in different scenarios which is rather confusing.
8) They will hardly, if ever offer to buy you a drink, lunch or dinner. They usually go dutch or go home.
9) They always somehow have ‘other’ plans they cannot miss when you suggest catching up.
10) They say they’ll call you back in some time but you inevitably end up being the one calling them days later.
11) They will never call to find out how you’re doing unless they’re worried they’ll lose you as a useful confidante.
12) They will briefly ask about your life but end up talking about themselves because that is more important.
13) They will never message or call to find out if you’ve reached home safe.
14) You never really know their schedule or where they are.
15) They don’t like or comment on your photos or updates on social media unless they’re a part of it.
16) You won’t really be aware nor be a part of their personal life.
17) They won’t offer to help out in situations involving your family or other friends.
18) They will behave as if they owe you no apology or explanation if you’re hurt by their actions.
19) They won’t make the effort to get in touch or mend the friendship if you have drifted apart for whatever reasons.

REAL FRIENDS

1) Will be in touch despite differences and even when they don’t need something from you.
2)They will not shy away from telling you how you look if you’re about to step out looking less than your best.
3)They will adjust their schedule to meet you even if it’s for a short time.
4)They will plan to hang out with you and spend quality time.
5) They won’t overly get irritated if you disagree with them and their ways. True friends agree to disagree.
6) No matter where you go, they will stick around and socialise with you. You came out together, you leave together.
7) You know most of their personas and how they’d react in a given situation.
8) They will never let you buy drinks or food on a special occasion or if they’ve specially invited you.
9) They swap their plans if they can to have that long awaited catch up with you.
10) They will always call you back or acknowledge if they can’t.
11) They will regularly check up on you if they know you haven’t been yourself.
12) They will always want to hear about your problems first if they know you need to talk.
13) They will expect a text or will call you to find out if you’ve reached home safely.
14) You know their schedule and routine well enough.
15) They will always like and comment on photos that mean a lot to you.
16) You know quite a bit about their personal life.
17) They will always be willing to help in situations involving your family and other friends.
18) They will apologise & explain if you’re hurt even if they owe you neither.
19) They will make the effort to get in touch and bridge the gap if you have drifted apart.

So these are some of the subtle or major differences I’ve noticed in friendships over the years. Of course every friendship is unique and every situation is different. To each their own, if having a friendship that offers you less than what’s mentioned here makes you feel happy then please disregard this post. It is not meant to throw any shade at a friend who doesn’t practice all of the above.

This is purely my observation and take on what I consider as real and fake friends. Please do let me know what you make of this observation. Do you agree with it? What are your thoughts?

One thing I’d like to add though. Do not let any ‘friends’ make you feel like crap. Real friends should empower, support and stand up for each other. If you feel you’re not part of such friendships than don’t be afraid to let go and detach from them. There are lots of people out there who are ready to give you the respect, attention and fairness you deserve. That’s what #squadgoals are made of! 😉

 

Image courtesy: Project Inspired

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A letter to my younger self by 5 years!

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Well hello you!!

I don’t know where to start…life has thrown a few curve balls at you, hasn’t it? 😊 I want to tell you something you probably won’t realise until you are where I am. Life is gonna get long and dreary but I want you to keep at it like you are right now. You will feel dejected and sad and there’ll be moments where you’ll really feel like ending things. Your morale will be at its lowest low and you will question your entire existence. But things will get better and you will meet people along the way who will come into your life to help you, support you, change you and be there for you.

You will encounter moments of realisations and awareness that you haven’t just yet. Some of these people will love you, some will anger you, some will leave you and some will misunderstand you. I’m not gonna lie, you will get hurt. Sometimes heartbroken but you will live. And you will learn from these pains. You will learn some cruel lessons which you’ll struggle understanding why you had to learn them in the first place.

If you have to change one thing about this journey then change this: do not resist the tide, do not fight it, do not struggle with it. If something is meaning to leave your life let it go with grace. If something is coming, accept it lovingly. Don’t fight the course of life. Don’t dwell in the pain and negatives you will encounter in your journey for that too will pass and be a snippet from the past that will hardly cross your mind in a few years from now. Relish the time and moments you have with your friends now because some will leave your life and not come back. Enjoy those late night calls, enjoy those random coffee dates, enjoy that amazing feeling of being a bff to your bestie. Remind yourself how grateful you are for having the family and support system you have in your present moment. Remind yourself that you are lucky to be alive and kicking and doing things on your own.

You will have to go through a phase where physically you’ll feel inadequate and a failure but those will serve as deep lessons which will teach you about your inner strength. You will feel sad and handicapped and incapable of doing anything but you will persevere. In those temporary moments of sadness remind yourself of your inner strength and your purpose. At times you will question why you and compare yourself with everyone else who is better than you. You will question why they have a better life. My dear..I’m 5 years wiser and I’m rapidly realising how irrelevant all that comparing was. What a big waste of time! 10 years from now you’ll be thankful if you even have the desire to read a letter to yourself! So please don’t bother comparing yourself with anyone. Hone your skills and love what you do! Spend all your free time doing the things that makes your spirit happy, no matter what that is. Don’t stress and cry less my dear..all that crying and stressing will eventually catch up and stare you right in the face. And I mean literally! You will inevitably come to accept that stressing is like karma for your facial beauty. It truly ages you!

Enjoy the life you have and eat healthy. Love fully and whole heartedly. Don’t close your doors on love. You will meet people who will make you feel things you will want to avoid feeling but dont avoid it. Don’t restrain yourself from giving in. These experiences will be precious moments you will cherish your whole life. Even though the person will no longer participate in your life, those moments will linger on and become tender memories you will like keeping forever.

5 years from now you will be a woman who will finally learn to love herself with empathy and admiration. She will bask in the femininity and strength of being a woman who has bravely fought her battles. 5 years will make you a fighter! And you will fight and conquer pebbles, stones …sometimes large rocks along the way. Every experience will be a special one that will teach you about you . Lastly always remember that loving yourself first will never go out of style! 😉

 

P.s. Do me a favour and don’t ever make the mistake of getting a silly haircut for your birthday!!

 

Your elder self.

 

 

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